This just in. After having excoriated former secretary of state Colin Powell for voting for Obama because he is black, Rush Limbaugh denied rumors that he only votes for white presidential candidates. Nevertheless, investigative reports digging deep into Limbaugh’s past and present uncover the startling truth: Limbaugh has consistently voted his race in both the primary and general elections for the past thirty years; moreover, he has publicly endorsed only white candidates. Reporters were not quite sure what to make of this astonishing contradiction in Limbaugh’s record as Limbaugh was unavailable for comment. Through spokesperson Joe Schmoe, Limbaugh declared that he was not a racist. After all, said Schmoe, “some of Rush’s best friends are black people.” When asked why Rush did not choose to endorse one of these unnamed black friends for the presidency ( if, indeed, he had really wanted to vote for a black person), Schmoe declined to comment. Later on his website, Limbaugh said that the rumour he has only voted for white people is the kind of liberal smear campaign that public has come to expect from the elitist and
anti-American liberal media. Meanwhile Joe Sixpack, who also happens to be white, began pressing Limbaugh for an endorsement for vice-president, believing himself at least as qualified as a moose-hunter from Alaska.